各種英語幽默故事小短文欣賞

(資料圖)

　　幽默是所有藝術(shù)都具備的藝術(shù)形式,幽默是人類所特有的一種感情,在所有藝術(shù)中都普遍存在著這種感情的表達方式。

　　英語幽默故事小短文篇一

　　Five Months Older

　　The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

　　But John"s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy"s family name, so when he saw John"s papers, he was surprised.

　　"How old are you?" he said.

　　"Eighteen, sir," said John.

　　"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

　　"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."

　　大五個月

　　第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開始了，約翰想?yún)④姡伤挥惺鶜q，當時規(guī)定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進行體檢時，他說他已經(jīng)十八歲了。

　　可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆]幾天，而且也是這個軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。

　　“你多大了?”軍醫(yī)問。

　　“十八，長官。”約翰說。

　　“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”

　　約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月。”

　　英語幽默故事小短文篇二

　　My Husband Will Be Home Soon

　　A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

　　James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn"t possibly do it, she would kill me!!"

　　"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

　　"Oh really, I can"t," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn"t be here, my husband will be home soon!"

　　我丈夫馬上就要回來了

　　一個已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時，女朋友要求他剃去胡須。

　　“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的胡子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”

　　詹姆斯回答說，“我的妻子喜歡我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會殺了我的。”

　　“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說道。

　　“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這胡子。”

　　在女朋友再三請求下，他終于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡時，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應(yīng)該在這里，我的丈夫很快就要回來了。”

　　英語幽默故事小短文篇三

　　Hospitality

　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest"s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

　　好客

　　由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。

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